Weirdest Dream EVAH

Warning: Potentially yucky post. Not for the weak of stomach. Or not. Suit yourself.

Last night I dreamt that I’d gone to a sex clinic for a bit o’ nookie.

Now, a sex clinic, in the dream’s world, was a place where men and women could go to get their rocks off with robots, therefore preventing sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, and also morbidly bottled-up libido. The clinic was a place with whitewashed walls, black thinly-padded operating-table like beds, and glaring white lights. Not very great for libido.

Anyway, my “partner” was a female robot (not a sex doll, a sentient robot), who resembled an animatronic figure, very much like this:

So we shut the door and removed our clothes, and she put a pillow and a sheet over the operating table and lay down on it, and I got on top of her and...

at that very moment...

...I was no longer looking through my eyes but from her (the robot’s) point of view. And I could see myself, not as myself, but as a tree. Yes, I was a tree with white wood, peeling brown bark, a priapic wooden penis like a knob, and a head of leaves very much like a Brussels sprout.

So this wooden penis penetrated the robot (this being from the robot’s PoV, she – and I – could see it vanish between her legs, where there was a darkish patch of faux hair) and then I was shifting back and forth in appearance between a tree and an equally animatronic version of myself, as I thrust away jerkily just like a machine, until I had an orgasm.

Then, as I pulled out of her, my PoV shifted back to me and I saw, as she got up from the table, that she was leaking semen from down her back and there was a perfect pool of it on the pillow just beneath her head. And the semen was baby-puke green.

What the eff?